Oh how I love thee, wax. Let me count the ways.

Here's what you need to know. Wax is your friend and so are noodles. And sashimi. Sashimi is your friend too. But first to the wax.

Your mouth is used to smooth teeth. It is now used to a mouth full of jagged metal edges. Why they can put a man on the moon and not create braces that won't turn the inside of your cheeks into chipped liver I don't know. But that is the reality.

So use wax. Soon. And put it absolutely everywhere you like. Yes, it looks silly. Yes, even sillier than a 46 year old with braces. But I went through the entirety of Day 2 without it and by 11:00pm I would have given my first born to be put out of my inner cheek misery.

But then the wax. Oh the wax. I put it on every edge and bump and wire and know angels are singing the hallelujah chorus in my ear and I can finally imagine getting through the next six months. Yes. I know. I would not do well in war. Or in the wild. Or anywhere other than my current pampered circumstances. I admit it. And that counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and braces.

Now to the noodles. And the sushi. Eating is not a great deal of fun right now. It hurts. It's gross. And it makes you wish that you had Soylent Green and that you didn't know, "Soylent green is people!" But I digress. Now is the time for pho and ramen and for that I will rejoice. I haven't moved on to the other noodle food groups yet. But there is time, my friends. There is time.

Sashimi is also easy to bite in half lightly and chew on your molars. It's heaven in fact. And it's protein and it's delicious. And that is all that is important now that I am carrying more metal in my mouth than should be allowed for my height and weight.

Speaking of weight, I've been wanting to lose 15 pounds. Braces are a dramatic route, I know. But I'm all about two dead birds with one perfect stone. And I have been hungry since I got these little metal mangers. So there is that.

Until next time, wish me luck on healing my cheeks and finding more foods that don't require, well, teeth.

 I still love you, Fusion Orthodontics.